The last time that I was at Darryl’s house, I saw his sister Twinky, who (out of the clear blue and after a half pint of Crown) told the story about how she went to jail because she was driving drunk at four in the morning and ran over a light pole, then went up in the house to change clothes (because she threw up on herself), then came back outside and tried to change the tire (which was flat) with her bare hands (as if she had somewhere else to go). Someone hearing the commotion called the police, and when the police arrived, they wanted to see her driver’s license (which she didn’t have) and the car’s registration (which wasn’t hers). She told the police that the owner of the car (Carl Boogie) was in the house (which he wasn’t), so they knocked, but nobody opened the door, so (still drunk) they took her to jail.
While in the holding cell, a big girl named Cross-Eyed Jackie walked over and said, “Girl, you ain’t got nothing to worry about up in here because I’m going to be your best friend.” Twinkie looked up at her (still drunk) and said, “I’m sure you mean well, but I’m really tired, and if by chance I’m still here tomorrow, then we can talk, but right now I’d appreciate it if you would not bother me because I really need to get some sleep.”
Six hours later, Cross-Eyed Jackie tapped Twinky on the shoulder and said, “Good morning, Sugar, it’s tomorrow…”